I'm not the type of person to let a ragin' case of the herpes ruin my weekend, so I decided to go online to seek advice from the internet doctor.
The first site I stumbled upon was this one, a collection of user-submitted home remedies for cold sores. You guys, there is a reason why laypeople are not allowed to dispense medical advice and this site is it.
Among the various cold sore cures that this site suggests, the one that comes up time and time again is ear wax. Ear wax! So I suppose one should just swivel their pinky around in there for a while and smear the results on their lips? Eww! How am I supposed to kiss my (*)husband with those nasty wax encrusted lips? That's gross.
Another contributor to the site offered a ten-step plan to getting rid of a cold sore overnight. I have to admit that I skimmed most of it, until step 7 which gave instructions for applying nail polish remover to the cold sore as follows:
"Imagine that you are an archeologist and you are using some acid to clear some stubborn fossilised mud off a priceless gold medallion."
WHAT? Why?
"This makes the process quite fun."
But it stings!
"I don't care if it stings, just think about how much money you'll make once you sell that medallion to the museum of natural history!"
I think it's fair to say that this is the point that I left that website.
Spent the entire weekend indoors as a social pariah so I could ride out the cold sore. Woke up for work today and it still hasn't diminished. On the plus side, it gave Gerald something new to stare at at work this morning (as he stared, I could practically hear him thinking that I must be one of those Bad Women With Loose Morals, the type that his mother warned him about).
So I just wrote an entire entry about a cold sore. Sorry, you guys. I'm at rock bottom for material. Maybe that ear wax isn't such a bad idea...
*nonexistent
No comments:
Post a Comment