Put in some overtime at work tonight which meant I had to catch the late bus. While waiting for the bus, I got chatted up by a guy dressed up like Elvis. He had the entire look going on: the hair, the sideburns, the glasses. He introduced himself as Elvis Junior. Roffle.
When my bus arrived, I got on and he followed me on and sat down next to me. For the entire ride back to Hendersonville, he told me his entire life story, monologue style. Listening to him talk, I realised that this man actually believes he is Elvis' son. He didn't actually say this explicitly, but he dropped some subtle hints. People, I did the math. It wasn't hard. Some choice quotes:
"My father was an entertainer"
"I own a mansion in Memphis but the deed is locked inside a vault hidden in the walls"
"I have ownership in a valuable estate but my half sister sold most of it"
He also wondered aloud "What is the difference between England and Australia?", and described his favourite brand of kitty litter. Every so often he would stop and tell me that he was so excited to meet me, this was his lucky day, etc. The whole time I just kept smiling and making polite comments and hoping that the other passengers didn't think we were together. He got off the bus at Target, promising to look for me at the bus stop on Monday night (yikes).
When Elvis Jr got off, the lady sitting across the aisle from me burst out laughing and said "I guess he really is alive". Then, the lady sitting behind her told us that she has seen Elvis Jr around town a bunch of times, always in costume. The bus driver chimed in and said that the guy is a known local crackpot, and if Elvis Jr's story is correct, the real Elvis would've had to have been 12 when his "son" was born.
I am doing overtime all week next week, so if I run into Elvis Jr at the bus stop again, I am going to get a picture with him.
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